Tuesday, October 2, 2012

44. PMA

I have been thinking about positive mental attitude, or PMA, since yesterday. I learned about PMA what seems like an eternity ago (12 years), as a Resident Advisor at Cornell. How one looks at things makes such a difference in how one feels, one's outlook, how one's day turns out. Yesterday, I was thinking about how lucky I am to have such a happy child in my life, who manages to make me smile at least once a day. And then I thought, 'Wow, I can still feel fortunate despite all the stressors and crises I am going through,' and felt grateful for being able to feel lucky, to not feel victimized, to see the positive in things. Predominantly because there was a time in my life when I could not feel thankful or lucky for everything good I had going on. That was about 12 years ago too.

I remember feeling like a victim, feeling sorry for myself, wondering often why bad things happened to me, I even belonged to a clan of 'Shit Sisters,' bemoaning and bragging about the 'shit' that befell us. Not to say I haven't felt sorry for myself in the past nine months, or wondered why and what the purpose of all this emotional turmoil is, what lesson I needed to learn from all this heartache, but mostly, I have been thankful, grateful for the little things that make me smile, that make me happy. I have been able to feel fortunate at least once a day, and that is a wonderful thing to feel, a proof of how far I've come along in my life journey, of all my positive growth, that working on my attitude and remaining hopeful and optimistic has definitely paid off.

It's nice to know that the balance is tipping far towards hopefulness and optimism, who'd have thought that PMA learned as a young resident advisor in college would come in handy as an adult mom, and probably for years to come? Thanks PMA!

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